Wherein I Am Horrid

It was a lovely Sunday. Woke not too early and departed for the local Ren Fest. The day started innocently enough…Ded Bob, some rockin’ bagpipes and drums…but we all needed a little something. I bragged on the glory that is mead.

I can say little more about that day. The photo was at the end wherein my husband kindly captured the final bit of debauchery. (The indelicate hand belongs to a relative – it is not mine. I am merely pointing to it – her debauchery, I mean. Ahem.)

He was short, yes. But so…in the spirit of the game, one might say.

Trooper was loving it, of course. All day mocking the two women folk who were lost in their mead. At one point I was so off my game as to be mocked by a wandering Pretzel Vendor. A minor one at that! True, he rattled off the types of wares he had too fast and I laughingly asked him to slow down. “Sallllttteeeyyyy, Parrrrmmmmeeeesahhhhnnnn…”

The little whelp! I had to take out my hanky, hide my face, and wail, “I am so ashamed!” as I laughed til I cried. Shortly after, ignoring the joust, I whispered to my brother, “Shh! She’sh drunk!” He nearly went down the hill on that one. Which only then brought on a battle of the witless, “We burn. Fiery pitsth of hewl. Flamesth.”

Dear me, I’ve no idea what we were doing but I was having a blast. I haven’t had that much to drink since I wasn’t legal to drink. But I was, at least, a polite drunk. We managed to wend our way through the fare with very little instigation. Still, I didn’t want to be the predictable “drunk lady at the fair”. It is almost as bad as the “too much boob for the outfit” gal.

No worries. There is little photographic evidence of ME. Trooper, however, was assaulted by some wenches and brought on stage and of that there is ample evidence. Of course, his LT was there. He was assaulted, too, but only briefly.

A wonderful bit of fun followed by a very rough day at work. Still, Stubby the Barbarian makes me smile. As does this new finding. If it doesn’t work, well, tough. I’m hungover.

You can figure it out. You’re all far smarter than I after all. (Or is that than me? Sigh…)

Off with ye…

7 responses to “Wherein I Am Horrid

  1. Gawd, I need a girlfriend to hang out with like you. This post gets my vote for the best read of the day.You sniggering behind your kerchief! Ha!hahahaha!Can’t blame your friend for wanting to prove the goods before purchasing. Heh.G’wan with ye.

  2. Sniffles? Hooky, indeed! Nothing outside of plague could bring you down, B.Hi,CW! Glad you came by even if it was for perhaps the most appalling of my posts. It gets better. And it could get worse! I promise nothing.J, you and I and a tankard or two? We’d need our own stage, thankyouverymuch. It’s actually a sort of frightening thought. And yet…so very tempting!

  3. CW, yes – yes, it is. And the same applies to the house, actually, which is why we rarely have company. LOLHey, he married me for my cooking. What can I say?

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