Stupid Mistakes

Unlike many others, I am never assured of safety behind my windows and doors. I knew this when I first took up with a LEO. Retribution was always a possibility. But things amped up with the move here. And of course it’s only getting worse as the days go by.

Therefore, I am never more than a few feet away from a weapon. But last night I got lazy or forgetful. It was late and I was shutting down the net, getting ready to turn out the light when I heard the sound that I would have sworn was a pants leg brushing and a step…

My first thought was for the dog – outside, damn it. Then I could see in my mind the gun on the kitchen counter, left after finishing the cleaning up. My hand went for the next option from the pencil cup on my desk – it wasn’t much but it was sharp. After another moment of listening, I got up to investigate. Thank goodness it was just the cat, moving around on my rain jacket, carelessly cast aside earlier. “Asshole,” I told him, stroking his soft, sleepy head.

But it was a dark reminder. The gun is useless when it isn’t to hand. And the dog is to be wherever I am, damn it. Much as he was all last week when I wasn’t out of his sight.

I’d had a dream recently – running back into the house for a forgotten something, door left unlocked, ajar. Two men crashed through it and I had no time at all to react. It, too, was a reminder that no matter how much of a bad-ass I may be (even if only in my own mind) I do not have the training to handle that sort of thing.

I am sure there is language to describe it, studies made year after year, to deal with that surprise and halt to action, moments of decision rather than implementation of repetitive training.

Fact is, I need to watch my ass, be smarter by 100%, and get some fracking holsters and use the damned things.

Shock and awe, indeed. I am not prepared…but at least I know where to start.

4 responses to “Stupid Mistakes

  1. You know who was full of good advice for women’s self-defense? BaneDad.

    One vivid snipped I’ve never forgotten and replayed over and over in my mind was to the effect that:
    If you are awakened by a sound, you are too out of it to find your gun and focus your nerves. First, barricade the door, dial 911 and find your gun, in that order.

    He was always the realist about self-defense. Do smart things, not cinematic things.

    Be safe m’dear!

  2. If you don’t have one, I can recommend ADT alarm systems. You can set them up so that they beep loudly whenever someone opens a door or window (even if the system is not armed). That way you have a few seconds warning that someone has entered your home or is trying to. My wife likes it because I work shift work and it gives her peace of mind when I’m not there.

  3. D.W is correct…there some cool alarm systems out there. I know some people who have several guns placed in nooks and crannies around their homes…always within fast access from anywhere.

    I also have a friend that lives way out in the woods…has a sign on his door that reads…”Shotguns aimed knee-high…illegal entry may result in death”.

    Seriously, no one should have to wear a holster in their own home, but you gotta do what you gotta do…stay safe my friend.

    I like the multiple gun scenario.

  4. Indeed, we maintain the multiple gun scenario as well as the “Alamo” but I am sometimes seriously unaware…

    An alarm system needs only Radio Shack and that I DO need to deal with. And my ex sent some great info on some IP Cams. Slick – esp if traveling…

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