Yesterday was difficult, having to swallow my pride for the sake of gainful employment. It is a kind of mourning, I suppose, that letting go of what was for the reality of what is. Trooper has been quite kind in the matter, having known his own ego bruising disappointment. His statement of “take whatever they offer”, though, echoed harshly.
I’ve always supported the fairly elite level in the company, dealing with the C suite and their direct reports. Having my access to that “sanctum sanctorum” renounced has been a difficult burden to bear. However, it seems that I am to be further acquainted with the virtue known as Humility.
I shall be asked to serve someone who reports to my now-enemy. It wouldn’t hurt as much if I wouldn’t be in contact with some of those same people – the questions will naturally arise…I tell myself that it only makes him look bad as I can honestly indicate that it was an unexpected turn of events.
But that virtue…it was comforting to read those words.
…The courage of the heart necessary to undertake tasks which are difficult, tedious or unglamorous, and to graciously accept the sacrifices involved.
…Refraining from despair and the ability to confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation.
Courage of the heart – isn’t that a nice turn of phrase? Confronting fear and uncertainty – how I hate to do that. Well, not in the drastic and important things but the daily grinding kind of things. If there is danger, I am all business and moving out. But these kinds of office politics conflicts? How I despise them.
It is time to learn to rise above these things. I told Trooper – I need to look at it as “how many guns/bullets/pretty underthings (priorities – I gots them) will this week’s tolerance get me?” In that way I can better balance that disappointment against reality.
However, I still hope his transmission blows up on 285 at rush hour. What can I say? I need some work on the virtue of Kindness.