A clock is ticking, but it’s hidden far away
Safe and sound, safe and sound
My God, this thing is spinning out of control, isn’t it? You can’t hide your fav fetish search but someone can take an entire aircraft off the grid and everyone shrugs. Russians declare the ability to destroy us whilst taking over a country, and our guy is picking his favorite basketball teams.
It is getting harder to find any humor in anything…the dogs feel the mood and angle away and gone, down the forbidden hill to the nasty ditch below – mercifully dry this day – looking for any escape from what must be a terrible emanating vibe. I crash through the weeds and tall grass, snatch their collars to hook the leash back on. Angry, angry, and so tired…no sleep and so tired that I let the dog out last night sometime and do not recall leaving the bed. At least I locked the door.
Sometimes I ache to just turn out the lights, get under the covers with something to throw me back into that smooth terrain of the soporific and let all of this, the 1’s and 0’s – go. To stop my brain from thinking in the useless round path it has worn.
I hear it ticking away, the hours of almost-all-over, and want to push Pause. Not ready, nowhere near it…just one more spring, give the kids a summer, and that cool autumn I love…Christmas I do not expect, don’t dare ask for. No way this thing doesn’t crash before then…
It is wrong to be so…careless. But I know, in truth, many will go without me. And all my concerns will be like sand on a shore – the most minute irritation to the world. So I do for them what I can, kith and kin. Spend my hours’ recompense for their ease. It is staking a marker, you see, in the Future.
But no one will ever bear these blue eyes, will they? That is an eternal loss.